I have nothing to do today...no soaps are on and what is on TV doesn't excite me...so, I thought I'd rather be up here in my office...writing something...Fay is in her room reading her Italian Newspaper and noticed a photo of one of our great friends! Fay was/is so excited that she saw her photo! Charlie is out...just came back from walking the dogs...Sam is at the gym...Paul is with Bre...and Nick is at his own home - doing??? whatever, hopefully not still sleeping! Anyway, one of my cousin's had asked me how this all began....
Is there really a beginning? Do I really know when it all started? Could have been anytime. I had my 40th class reunion coming up in September of 2008 and I knew I had to loose a few pounds...I began cutting back on my meals...eating smaller portions...being on the Nutrisystem at one time, I knew portion size. I began loosing weight a little at a time - once my reunion came around I still didn't reach my goal but I was happy with the number on the scale.
During that year I had a root canal done...I had this pimple on my gum for quite a while but never thought anything of it...thinking that I had already had a root canal done on that tooth...I had a fairly bad infection per the oral surgeon...but it was fixable without having more problems. I had to take an antibiotic for a few days...was the the beginning? That was in April, then in June we went to the Dominican Republic...I felt fine but everyone always said to be careful of what you eat...which I did....when I came home, about two weeks later...I began having a bit of a stomach problem...I had to go to the doctor to have my blood pressure pill refilled and at that time he made me go for blood work too. While in the office he gave me a prescription for an antibiotic but he didn't think it was from vacation - due to the time frame. When my blood work came back, the doctor called and said that I was very anemic and needed to take iron pills...he also suggested that I go for a colonoscopy....not me! I'm only 58 and I'm not going...stubborn me! I was gaining weight..and loosing it at that time too...I really didn't think anything was wrong. I took the iron pills and my numbers came up a bit...doctor wanted to re-check but again...stubborn me...didn't do it. Reunion came and went....I was still on the elementary school board of education - finishing my last term...January...I missed my first meeting! Stomach problems...not feeling quite right...but I continued doing my usual stuff - nothing stopped me. Then these commercials began...protonics...yogurt and pills...for discomfort in your stomach...heck, I may as well try it....didn't notice any difference. In August I began having problems moving my bowels...took a laxative, then stool softener...still no help...we got our 'new' puppy (Marlee) that month. I took her out to go and boy...did she ever go...so good...every day...several times a day...I was very upset that this puppy could go and do a nice 'poop' every time...jealous!!! me, still having a problem not going (another year passed by and I needed my blood pressure pills refilled)...now this is October....Had blood work drawn and the next call from my doctor was that he insisted that I go for a colonoscopy. At that time, I really felt that something wasn't right...I was loosing weight and finally got down to my goal - plus! I was eating everything I was before...potato chips, chocolate, cookies and my main meals and still loosing weight...everyone asked how I was doing it....smaller portions was all I could think of...but still not being able to move my bowels....So, I made my consultation appointment for the colonoscopy (I had heard stories before of one of my customers being perforated and then another that couldn't keep that 'delicious' drink down...I was looking for an excuse!)...the next week I went for the procedure and the doctor came in afterwards and told Charlie (as I was out cold and couldn't remember even seeing him) that there was a blockage in my intestine and I should go to a surgeon ASAP...the blockage was so large that he was afraid of something...I don't remember what he said...maybe a burst? Anyway, I made the appointment then was scheduled for a CT scan and that's when we found out that it wasn't good. The surgeon was able to see the blockage and that tumors were in my liver. We scheduled surgery for the sigmoid oscopy two weeks later. While waiting for the surgery he suggested that I find an oncologist. Surgery went well. Had the surgery on a Monday and they thought I'd be in the hospital until Saturday or Sunday. I had to move my bowels before I was able to leave. I was so clean inside and all I was able to eat was liquid...how would I ever be able to go? Beef broth for breakfast?! Uck! Anyway, I finally went on Friday...before the doctor came in. Thank goodness he was running late or else I would have had to stay another day. I was okay in the hospital...a bit uncomfortable with trying to sleep with the hall light on and one lady patient (who was my roommate for one night) in the next room moaning! and boy do I mean moaning!!! She would be on the telephone talking and then when she got off...she'd moan! This happened the whole day and night! She'd fall asleep - start to snore...then wake up moaning again! There was no way I got any sleep the first night! Thank goodness they were able to move her into another room and I was alone! It felt so nice to have my own private room!!!
Back to my story....I was fine at home...still had to make appointments for an oncologist...then the tests began...CT scans...PET scans...blood work...this and that test.
We ended up getting an agency to have two women come in to help Fay...she needs help showering each day. I spoiled her and always put her meals on the table ready for her to eat. I was always afraid she'd go into the refrigerator and eat something that was either ready for the garbage or for the dogs...so that is why I always had her food on the table...who cares if I spoiled my Mom...she spoiled me!! I learned from the best!
I think if I didn't wait as long as I did...I wouldn't be going through what I am today. But, that's what happens when you are a stubborn person. I never wanted to have to depend on anyone and I never wanted to spend my days going to doctor appointments...and look what happened. I never wanted anyone to worry about me...
Now, I never thought I was such a positive person...I didn't want to go through all of this...I just wanted to give in and not do anything...but my children made me do this...Thank God they did! Not only are my children and family very positive about this journey but my friends are helping me too! With all their prayers and support...I know I have to stay and do what has to be done. Everyone has a story...a positive story about knowing someone that has survived colon cancer.
God has an agenda for me...with all my friends, all the people I know...I guess my agenda is to preach the Word of God and tell everyone how strong prayer is and how it can really help.
And so, my journey begins.....
